It’s never enough. I will never be enough. I can never do enough to get me there, in that space where he looks forward to me all the time. I will never fall into place.
I will never be a part of his wheelhouse. I will always be an afterthought. I will always be a memory. I will always be a chore.
I will never be someone he is excited over. I cannot do anything to make him actually act the way he says he feels about me, because it just isn’t true.
He doesn’t want the guilt of being the “bad guy”, he wants to not feel THAT more than he wants me. I will never be able to slide into that slot beside him, in his head, in his heart, in his arms….because HE DOESN’T WANT ME THERE.
I should have stayed dumped.