my own faukt

This time

He is saying goodbye slowly this time. It doesn’t make it hurt any less. In fact it makes it more painful. 

He will never love me.  He will never ask me to be the one with him. He will lose me and he will be happy about it, no matter how much he states that he “doesn’t understand” why I am treated the way I am.

I want to ask him “well why do you do it?” But I can’t be cruel to him.

I made it so he could move onto someone else. I opened him back up to someone else stepping in where I wasn’t. I dug my own grave, I should just lie down and let them stomp the grass down. 

I don’t want to exist anymore.